Anchor of my Heart
by TungstenCat
Summary: Lancer has spent four long years keeping his Master safe while she worked her fingers and soul raw to reunite a boy and his lady knight. Now both of their tasks are at their end, and he intends to celebrate. If only that impossible woman would finally see things his way.


"You're thinking about Saber, aren't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" His eyes didn't leave the fluffy white clouds that drifted across the spring sky.

"A little, yes," said Rin gently. "You always get that smile."

"Is that so," he murmured, but the smile stayed firmly in place. They stood there for a little while, watching as the wind playfully sent the puffy vapours dancing, their billowing dresses forming pictures that slowly grew and shifted against the infinite blue.

"She always saw lions," said Shirou at last. "No matter how many times we looked, that's the first thing she always called out."

There was nothing to say to that, and so Rin remained silent. She didn't think he noticed. He was lost in his own world, dreaming of a shining blade and eyes the colour of new leaves.

Eventually the school tower's bell rang in the distance, five heavy notes that cut through even his reverie. He sighed and straightened his shoulders.

"Ah, I need to get home. I promised Illya I would make her dumplings tonight." He hefted his bag over his shoulder and nodded at her. "See you around, Tohsaka."

She waved him off with soft eyes and a heavy heart as he disappeared down the hill. When that shock of red hair finally left her sight, she let her arm slump to her side and heaved a sigh.

"Not going to tell him?" asked the disembodied voice of Lancer by her ear, a note of amusement in that rich masculine tone.

"What's the point?" shrugged Rin, running a hand carelessly through her hair. "He would only blame himself for not doing the same for Saber. Even though a third-rate magus like him could never support a Servant without the Grail's help. She narrowed her eyes reproachfully. "You're straining my circuits to the maximum as it is."

"Keeping me around was _your _idea, Master," he said cheerfully.

"Hmph. A first rate magus should have a first rate familiar. After I went through all the trouble of ripping you from that fake priest, I'm not letting you go that easily."

She nodded to herself as she gazed down the path that led to the Emiya household, and the makeshift family that would soon be gathering there. For a moment, her feet yearned to follow the path that the boy with the auburn eyes had taken, elbow a place for herself at his table so that she might pretend, just a while longer.

She sighed and opened her palm, letting go of the fleeting dream. She was a magus, and a magus dealt in realities.

"And I have plans for you," she said at last, forcing steel into her voice to remind both of them that she was speaking to a tool. One with a charming grin and the softest blue hair she had ever touched, but a tool nonetheless.

"What man doesn't like hearing that from a pretty lady?" he chuckled, unperturbed. And it was stupid, because it was just Lancer's way, but it sent warm shivers down her spine. A welcome balm against the slight chill in the air. "I look forward to it, Master."

* * *

_Four years since that day_, thought Cu Chulainn as he rummaged through his pockets for the flat's keys. He could technically drift right through the door, but it was always best to avoid a show. Besides, such small mundanities helped ground him whenever he let his mind wander. _Four years, and she never once stopped working on that plan. Heh, what a stubborn woman I ended up with._

And almost four years that he'd been waiting, watching her blossom in the sun of years until she was good and ripe. Old enough to claim, old enough to keep.

As soon as he was in the door, he pulled off his suit jacket and hung it up. _The stupid thing looks good_, he thought with a crinkle of his nose, _but it always picks up the smallest flek of dust. She likes it, though_.

The Hawaiian shirt he'd bought back in Fuyuki had been far more comfortable, but it had not survived first contact with Rin. She'd made him burn it on the spot.

_No familiar of mine will be caught dead in that… that _thing!

He couldn't help but laugh as he sauntered into the living room. He had always liked his women with a bit of fire. And although years of studying in the marble halls of the Clocktower had given his Master a bit more poise and polish, she was still a temperamental vixen anyway.

Thoughtful too, although it was always a gamble to point it out to her. He picked up his new fishing rod from its temporary home in the far corner, running his fingers appreciatively over the black carbide and burnished reel. She had gifted it to him on the anniversary of their contract, since the concept of birthdays was entirely unknown in mythic Ireland. As lovely as the rod was, it still paled before the pink dusting in her cheeks when she'd tossed it at him with affected carelessness.

Cu Chulainn been itching to try it out all week, but even his boundless optimism drew the line at expecting fish from London waters. Fortunately he had a few days open between the flower shop and his bartending gig, so he could afford a small trip to the southern lakes. Rin gave him a lot of leeway so long as he was available for her research when she needed him. He usually filled his time with casual jobs and even more casual flings, but a small vacation sounded good too. Now if only he could convince the impossible woman to take a break and join him; convince her to let him help her relax, for once.

The study door banged open, instantly snapping his eyes towards it. Rin took a few steps before sagging against the wall, a slight tremble running through her frame. She said nothing, only lifted off her glasses and stared at the ceiling with fever-bright eyes.

He frowned. He had not sensed any disturbance in the flat's Bounded Field, but clearly something was amiss. "Master? Is everything alright?"

"I… I think I have it," she said softly, blinking in disbelief. "I can make the Tehwar rune compatible after all. And with you as the connecting thread to the throne…" her voice gained strength as she raked him over with her eyes, as if proving to herself he was solid and real. "... we can do it."

She burst into laughter and rushed towards him, grabbing his hands in her excitement. "Lancer, your genius Master has done it!" Her voice lowered in greedy triumph. "We can summon Saber."

"Congratulations Master," he smiled, "you've worked hard for this." He held on, enjoying the feeling of her warm fingers squeezing his. She usually considered such overt displays of emotion as undignified, so this was a rare treat.

She seemed to realize it too, for her mouth twisted into a slight scowl.

"Don't get complacent!" she huffed, and to his disappointment her hands pulled away to settle into her lecturing pose. "There's still tests to run. Materials to gather. It's far too early to declare victory with magic this complex, but… yes." She grinned at him, her blue-green eyes bright with unshed tears. "Yes. Finally."

She went to pour tea, her hands still quivering with the stress of emotions running through her. Cu Chulainn stood in the doorway and watched her, frowning as he tried to untangle his own. His heart swelled his pride for his brilliant Master, of course. He had spend countless hours standing guard as she poured over ancient tomes, bargained with dead-eyed men in cheap diners, and burned oceans of midnight oil. He had always prided himself on his tenacity, and he was pleased to see hers rewarded.

But he couldn't shake his reservations. The shine in her eyes was not just pride and joy, but also long-buried pain. His purpose as a familiar was to protect his Master, even from threats she did not recognize as such. Part of that meant protecting her bodily, of course, and he was justly proud of the progress she had made in fencing and runes under his tutelage. But he was also responsible for teaching her to gird her heart (_nevermind his own designs upon it_).

So he said what he had bitten back all these years. "This won't make him love you, Master."

She almost dropped the teapot. "I know that," she snapped, glaring at him over her shoulder. Perhaps she thought that if her mask was fierce enough, he would miss the way the colour had drained from her face.

"See, I'm not sure that you do, lass." He crossed his arms and patiently returned her stare, which only stoked her temper further.

"Lancer, please explain." she said, her voice suddenly and dangerously sweet. "Why would I work so hard to bring back his _true love _if I had designs on him myself?"

"You're not always the most honest person, Master. Especially when it comes to what you tell yourself." He held up a hand to ward off her angry reply. "You gave up a full scholarship to the Mineralogy Department in favour of years studying Spiritual Evocation, all so you could chase this ritual down for him. Most people don't go that far without hoping to get something in return, even if they tell themselves they'll be okay either way. They're not, and you won't be."

"I will," said Rin through gritted teeth, then sighed. She took a seat and poured herself a cup, setting it delicately on the china saucer. "Lancer, look. Of course I'd like it if he… looked my way. But believe it or not, that's not what this is actually about."

He took a seat across from her, not even trying to hide his skepticism. She frowned, then dug a hand along the seams of her shirt before pulling out a shining ruby. She placed it lightly on the table between them.

"The Tohsaka family has practiced jewelcraft for centuries," she told him. "I've spent more than a decade studying it, poured my blood and sweat into it. And it has never made anyone happy. Not me, not my father… not my sister. And I'm tired of magecraft that brings nothing but pain."

She stared absently into her tea, her shoulders hunched. "Emiya-kun is broken inside, chained to ideals that no human could ever live up to. I don't know that Saber can fix that, given what she carried on her own shoulders. But she made him happy. She made that impossible boy happy."

An unconscious clench of her fingers, her knuckles almost as white as the fine china of her cup. "I will bring him Saber. If I can do that, then maybe all of this… maybe it will have been worth it."

"And if it's not?" he asked quietly.

Rin raised her head to glare defiantly at him, new fire burning in her aquamarine eyes. "Then at least I can rest a bit easier in my grave. Even if it all turns to dust, I'll know I tried."

Cu Chulainn stared back at her in silence for some time, searching her face with his crimson eyes for signs of hesitation or doubt. There were some there, of course, in the crease of her brow - she was only human - but it did not reach the determined set of her jaw. So he finally leaned back in his chair and spread his hands in surrender.

"Alright, woman. Have it your way."

He laughed inwardly as she huffed and sipped her tea, but not without the small smile and tilt of the chin that told him she was unconsciously preening under his praise. _I misjudged her. The woman knows this might all go sideways on her. Even if all goes well, it's only personally going to bring her heartbreak. She knows all that, and she's going to do it anyway._

So much devotion, and all for a boy that probably thought about her once in a blue moon. But although he disapproved of where she was aiming it, he admired the strength of it. Lancer had always thought his Master pretty, and very much looked forward to the day she would be old enough to claim. But with her eyes full of that shining fire, she was truly beautiful.

_What the hell_, he grinned to himself. _Make it today_. The boy didn't deserve his peach of a Master, with her notes of sweetness and cutting spice. And now he'd never have her, because Cu was going to pluck her then and there.

Warming to the thought, he let his gaze roam appraisingly over her body. She'd filled out nicely over the years. Nice soft curves. Chest a bit small, but still more than enough for each hand. Legs and thighs to die for.

"Lancer," she said, and he could hear the warning in her voice. He only grinned more widely, pleased she had noticed and correctly interpreted his interest.

"I was going to suggest we go out to eat. To celebrate." He leaned forward, bringing himself closer into her space. He smiled with almost predatory charm as her eyes widened, a hint of red rising on her nose and cheeks, as red as the ruby lying forgotten on the table between them. "But you know, Master, I think I'd rather dine in."

Rin forced herself to hold steady as Lancer leaned easily across the table with a panther's grace, swallowing down the sudden tightness in her chest and the heat in her cheeks. Her familiar was unfairly handsome with his roguish smile and bestial energy, corded muscle that shifted under his skin in a symphony of kinetic beauty.

He had flirted with her before, of course. Constantly at times, with husky words and the sinuous grace of his body, the intensity of his gaze as he let his hand brush against her ear, her shoulder, the length of her spine.. As annoying as it was, she couldn't say in good conscience that she was unaffected. She would be lying if she said she had never touched herself to thoughts of him, during quick sessions in the shower, or longer on those nights when loneliness pressed in on her. If perhaps shameful, it was far less so than dwelling on the boy whose heart belonged to another.

Still, there was a reason Rin had never indulged with him. Cu Chulainn went through women as other men went through cups, freely and lustily. She had her pride as a Master and as a woman, and how could she hold onto either if she became just another notch on his long list?

_And, well… sex brings people closer_, she thought with a blush. It was a matter of bonding through endorphins, entirely mundane and predictable but all the more undeniable for it. That night in the Einzbern forest had taught her how powerful that pulse of hormones and raw _need _could be, however much she tried to cleave to the rational steel demanded of magi.

She didn't want to risk losing her body to him, and with it her heart. She didn't think she could stand having it broken again.

So she forced disdain as she pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the blood pounding in her ears. "If you want _that_," she said with false levity, "You're free to seek it from your prowling grounds. Just remember the rules. I don't care who you take to bed, as long as you don't bring trouble home with you."

She rose from her seat, pacing herself so as to avoid any appearance of flight. _Dogs cannot resist a chase_, she thought humourlessly as she turned towards the safety of her room, away from the gleaming crimson of his eyes and the warmth she could feel blooming in the tips of her ears.

Barely two paces, and he caught her arm lightly in his grip. Not enough to pin her down, but enough to get her attention. She whirled around, her reprimand dying on her lips when he grinned at her, the curve of his lips sending an electric signal all the way down to the tips of her toes.

"Nah, lass," he said, pulling her lightly towards him. "Right now, what I want is you."

He closed the distance between them, reaching out to run callous fingers along the line of her jaw. She could smell, _feel_ the wild forest on him, the dew slung from racing paws as the wolf harried the hind. Fierce, dangerous, and undeniably attractive. Her blood sang to that untamed rhythm, her heart and lungs drummed with it.

"The way you look when you talk about him," he purred, red eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her shudder. "I want that. So I'm going to win it from you."

He had the insolence to run a sly tongue over dagger-sharp teeth, an obscene promise that snapped her out of her trance despite the flush spreading rapidly in her face and neck.

"You don't get to decide these things!" she hissed at him, trying to will away the heat building between her legs. God, every touch of his rough fingers along her throat, her cheek, sent little shivers running up and down her spine. It was embarrassing, how easily he could draw this from her.

"No, of course not," he agreed with a smirk. "But I can try to persuade you."

Rin suppressed a whine as his hand left her skin, only to be held out towards it. She looked at it, the rough palm and clever fingers that had saved her in the War, and so many times since. She thought of Shirou, who she could never have.

_Maybe it's okay to indulge, just this once. It doesn't need to go any further than I let it. _And she _had_ just achieved the makings of a miracle, a pinnacle most magi wouldn't reach in several lifetimes of research. _Surely I deserve to celebrate a little_?

So she took his hand, her fingers wrapping around his rough larger ones. "Fine," she said, "But you'll find me a very strict - !"

Her speech abruptly caught in her throat as strong hands scooped her off her feet, lifting her easily into a bridal carry. She could feel the vibrations of his laughter as he tucked her in against his chest, resting his chin on the crown of her head. She reddened as she watched (_her control_) her upper hand slip through her fingers before they had even started.

"Lancer!" she growled, throwing a fist against the muscular wall of his torso. "Put me down!"

"Sure, sure," he grinned easily. "But I think you'd prefer a bed to the carpet for your first time."

Her face burned as his words lanced through her, piercing all the way to her core. _This is really happening then_, she thought, keenly aware of his arms encircling her, his warm breath ghosting through her hair. _I'm going to… _she swallowed hard … _have sex. With my familiar_.

Several long strides brought them to her bedroom and whispering silk as he set her down on the sheets. Rin raised herself to a seating position, glaring at him to cover her discomfort.

"If you think -"

The indignation was still hot on her tongue when he knelt down to close the distance between them. All words slipped away when he tilted up her chin, forcing her to look up at fierce crimson as his mouth covered hers.

His kiss was searing hot, and almost painful in its tenderness. She had intended to keep the upper hand, to give as good as she got, but the movement of his tongue against hers, hungry and insistent, left her moaning into his mouth. The heat in her core had somehow spread to her chest, her nipples painfully hard against the silk of her blouse as his hands roamed down to possessively cup her ass.

His hands felt good as they kneaded her flesh, far too good. It filled her with irritation, the way he boldly teased her traitorous body, but she felt a flutter of relief too. _At least one of us knows what they're doing_, she thought distantly as they finally separated to catch their breaths. At least she could take some satisfaction that he looked as flushed as she felt, his eyes darkening with arousal.

Then Lancer slipped his hands up her sides, making her breath hitch as he traced fire against cool skin. Before she could quite understand what was happening, he'd caught her shirt and tugged it over her head with ease born of practice. She reflexively crossed her hands in front of her chest, shielding her breasts from his hungry gaze. Stupid, she knew, given what they were engaged in, but she couldn't help it. It was the first time she'd ever let someone see her like this, and she couldn't help but feel exposed. _Vulnerable_, and no magus ever liked feeling _vulnerable_.

His eyes gleamed as he took her in. "Damn, Master. I like the rod and all, but this is a much better gift. More fun to unwrap, too."

_God, he was obnoxious. Why did he have to be so unfairly gorgeous too_? snarled Rin internally, feeling the blush deepen in her cheeks. "Don't just stare like an idiot," she hissed as she reached for him, some of her embarrassment fading into irritation. "Get over here."

Because she wanted to touch his chest, and god did it feel good flattening her hands against him, feeling all the powerful muscle corded there under his shirt. A shirt he willingly let her strip off, with considerably less grace than he'd managed with hers. Up close like this, she could smell him, thunder and musk and wild honey. It was a bit frightening, the raw strength she felt under her exploratory touches, but it was exciting too. The heat building inside her was different than what blossomed when she pleasured herself. Hotter and somehow sharper.

So when his clever mouth pressed burning kisses against her bared shoulders before moving up her throat, distracting her while he slipped away the rest of her clothing, she let him. He ran his hands tenderly over every inch of exposed skin, as if he were mapping out something precious. With every brush, her nerves sang a little more of shivering pleasure.

"Lancer," she groaned against him. Part of her wanted him to slow down, to let her acclimate to the sensations he sent pulsing through her. The rest of her wanted more of him, _right now_, caution be damned.

"You're breaking me here, lass," he said huskily in her ear. "Let me at least return the favour."

He pushed her back onto the bed as her moved over her, cool sheets slippery against her naked back. One hand buried itself in her hair while the other moved to cup her right breast. _Warm_, his fingers were so incredibly warm as he gently kneaded the mound.

Rin's breath came in little gasps as he worked her flesh, teasing and pulling her nipple to a rock-hard point. When his still-clothed knee pressed against her entrance, rubbing along slippery folds, she couldn't stop the mewls spilling from her lips. It was humiliating, mortifying, so why did it feel so damn _good_? Then he lowered his mouth to her other breast, twirling his clever tongue over the sensitive point, and thought became very difficult.

"Lancer, ahh -!"

He released her just long enough to catch her face in his hands, tilt her head so she was looking at him. "Yeah," he purred as he smirked down at her. "That's it. I knew you'd be adorable like this."

Embarrassed heat shot through her, and with it the return of her temper. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she glared up at him. "You son of a - nnghh!"

Her back involuntarily arched as he latched onto her breasts again, his mouth and hands working her into a writhing mess. If his earlier attention had been the light pink of play and teasing, his touch now was deep crimson, meant to take her apart entirely. And it was _working_, as much as she hated to admit it. Coherent thought faded as desire surged through her, racing up her spine and suffusing her limbs. She gasped and panted below him, her hand fisting helplessly in the sheet. And was she _rubbing _herself against him, angling her hips up to capture more of his knee between her thighs? No, she would never let herself be so brazen. The hard press against her core, the friction and heat - it had to be a lie (_the best kind of lie, if it made her feel like _this_, like floating away on wave of hot pleasure_).

With his hot mouth on her, she barely noticed when one of his hands snaked down her body. That is, until his leg lifted away, leaving her bereft. She scarcely had time to whine a protest before deft fingers slipped experimentally between her folds, making her shiver and gasp. Rough, his skin was rough against her, but not unpleasantly so.

"Wet already," he said, dripping smugness. "And I've barely touched you."

She jerked her head to the side, frowning as she stared at the wall. Then maybe he wouldn't see the burning in her face, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears.

"Just get on with it," she growled.

But infuriatingly, he drew his fingers back as he settled back on his knees, frowning down at her. Her hips bucked without her consent, already missing the delicious friction. She flushed red, then bit her lip when she saw his gaze locked on hers. Too late to deny her appetite, all she could do now was own it.

"Lancer…" she warned, roughening her voice to turn her plea into a command. "Put it in, already."

"No, lass," he shook his head as he gently stroked her thighs. "You're still not ready, not for your first time." Then the solemn line of his mouth became a wicked smirk. "But I can help with that."

"What do you mean?" she asked, feeling a little foolish as she raised herself up on trembling elbows. She watched with wide eyes as he lowered himself down, his face disappearing between her legs. She squirmed as she realized what he meant to do, her legs pressing around him in a belated - and futile - effort to close.

"Lancer, you can't!" she said, her mouth twisting. "That's too embarrassing - "

She gasped as his lips brushed against the inside of her thigh, trailing kisses along the sensitive skin. His mouth was fire everywhere it touched her, hot tongue laving in slow circles apparently designed to drive her mad. Rin bit down desperately on her knuckle to cut off her moan, so hard she tasted a hint of blood.

A hand closed around hers and gently but firmly pulled it aside. His head was raised just enough to meet her eyes, let her see the disapproval in his brow.

"Stop overthinking things," he said. "Just relax and let yourself feel."

She meant to glower at him, she really did, but instead found herself holding her breath as he lowered his head again. His breath tickled against her sensitive wet core as he lowered his lips to her, gently sucked at the swollen flesh.

It felt good, a pleasant sweetness blossoming where his mouth touched her. Hesitantly she reached down to tangle her hands in his hair, tugging it loose from its ponytail to let silky blue locks tumble through her fingers.

Then all reason threatened to leave her as his tongue thrust in, curling deep inside her. That tongue, strong and oh so flexible against her most sensitive areas, paying close attention to the hard point of her clit. Her breath came in shallow gasps as he circled it teasingly, then pressed until she thought the sharp burst of sensation might make her scream. Molten pleasure raced through her body, curling her toes as as fingers tightened spasmodically against his scalp.

"Ahh! Ahh, Lancer!" she moaned between her panting, bucking her hips eagerly against his talented mouth. _Control, _she had to keep control, but it seemed pale and far away against the red thrum of desire coursing through her body. "Don't you dare stop," she growled, compromising on a threat. "I'll kill you if you - ahh!"

He only hummed agreeably against her flesh, the vibrations only adding to her cresting pleasure as he picked up his pace. She instinctively tried to jerk her hips away from the overwhelming pressure, only to have his hands tighten around them to hold her firmly in place. The more she wriggled, the faster and more insistently he pushed his tongue inside her, driving her mad with sensation.

Her climax came embarrassingly quickly, her oversensitive flesh surrendering to his skilled mouth. She cried out blissfully as white light burst behind her eyes, drowning out the world as it washed over her. _Vulnerable_ in her moment of release, as her strings loosened and left her body limp and boneless against the pillows, but in that moment she couldn't focus on anything but the little aftershocks coursing through her, the stars still spinning in her mind.

Distantly she heard the bedsprings squeak as he moved up to settle next to her, his arm wrapping possessively around her waist. He lifted up her chin, red eyes boring into hers before he captured her lips in a tender kiss. She could taste herself on him, musky and earthy and a little bit sweet. It set her limbs trembling anew.

They lay together for a while as he waited patiently for her to recover, smiling as he twirled her locks around his fingers. When her breathing finally levelled out, he took her face in his hands again, shifting her to look at him as he grinned down at her.

"A good appetizer," he said with a smirk that oozed masculine pride. "But I think I'm ready for the main course." He only smiled at her spluttering protests as he reached a hand down to skim across her slit again, and the undeniable wetness pooled there. "And so are you, by the feel of things."

"About time," she murmured, unable to muster her usual sharpness. She felt far too relaxed for that, even with the embers in her belly crackling back to life under that consuming crimson.

He gave a deep chuckle as he moved to position himself below her again, pausing only to shuck off his pants and carelessly toss them onto the floor. Cheeks burning, she stared with wide eyes as he grasped his length, stroking it to full hardness with practiced motions. She had seen Shirou's briefly, back in the dishevelled shadows of the Einzbern ruins, but that had been a hurried affair in which she was an intrusion. It was entirely different when it was presented to her, proud and erect. A hardened lance of flesh, nestled in small tufts of blue hair.

_He's going to put that inside me_, she thought to herself with a dry swallow. It seemed too big to fit, far larger than her fingers or her occasional toy. _Don't be stupid_, she chided herself as she bit her lip. _Women do this everyday, and you're a magus. It's nothing you can't handle_. And although it was a bit frightening, she also really wanted it. Wanted _him_. There was a dull ache inside of her, growing by the moment, and she desperately needed him to fill it.

_I need him_. _Cu Chulainn. Hound of Ulster_. Memories flashed before her eyes of long nights spent hunched over her desk, pouring over her father's collection of mythological volumes. So many proud warriors she had imagined at her beck and call. But never like this, about to push her down and fuck her into the mattress.

Something about the latter struck her as absurdly funny, despite the heat surging through her and the hunger in his eyes. She couldn't help but crack a grin.

He grinned back, a flash of fang in the corner of his mouth. "Something good, Master?"

"I was just thinking," Rin said as she smiled sweetly up at him, eyes bright with mischief. "Shouldn't we be doing this doggy style?"

That was the wrong thing to say. She knew it immediately as Lancer came to an abrupt halt, his eyes darkening as he scowled down at her. Rin winced, afraid that she had entirely ruined the mood he had so painstakingly set. Was he going to leave her there, still aching, tightness coiled deep in her belly and core? She could order him, but then she could never again look him in the -

Lancer was a sudden blur of motion, moving with speed she had not seen since the War as his hands locked around her waist. He roughly flipped her over onto her stomach, growling deep in his throat. The cotton sheets slid roughly against her aching points as his calloused hands gripped her shoulders and pressed her down.

"If that's what my Master wants," he rasped as he settled behind her, a masculine presence that both unsettled and thrilled her. He roughly grabbed at her waist to haul her up, forcing her on her knees and forearms. She shuddered as his hard cock pressed against her hip, the tip already hot and damp on her skin.

"It's deeper this way, Rin," said Lancer, "Fuller. I was going to go easy on you since I'm plucking your flower, but since you insist…"

His hands moved to her hips, digging in hard enough to make her gasp. The dark current in his voice made her heart pound with trepidation and something else, hot and sharp in her breast. Control was fast slipping through her fingers, making her want to grab onto something, anything to steady herself.

_He called me Rin_, she realized, and latched onto this unwarranted familiarity. Nevermind that he was about to join with her in the most intimate way possible, there were boundaries to be maintained.

"I didn't say you could call me -" she began hotly, meaning to turn and glare at him. Instead she found herself frozen in place as fingers played at her folds, spreading her open. He leaned down, the firm muscle of his chest covering her as his hot breath ghosted across the nape of her neck.

"Here I go," he growled. He snapped his hips back before pushing himself inside her in one swift motion.

She made an incoherent sound as he drove deep into her, her inner walls clenching tightly around his hard length. He was so big inside her, stretching her open in a way her fingers never had, and there was burning pain but also a feeling of _fullness_, of _completion_. She gasped with it, and heard him groan his pleasure in her ear.

"You're so tight, Rin," he rumbled as he moved his hands to her hips, the better to pull her back against him. "Yeah, just like I imagined it."

"Lancer, ngh - !" Her snarl became a needy moan as he began moving inside her. Small thrusts at first, but quickly picking up speed and power as her body adjusted to him, moving on its own.

"Call me Cu," he said, and she could just _hear _the smirk in his voice. And maybe he was justified, _damn him_, because she found herself arching back, her hips rolling with the snap of his hips. She shuddered and gasped as her walls clenched greedily around him. The rhythm of his thrusts changed with her unconscious movements, matching her trembling, her helpless moans. He let her body tell her what her voice wouldn't, until it writhed against him and all thought melted into a white-hot daze of pleasure.

Rin buried her face in the pillow between her forearms, hoping to stifle her gasps and cries. From the way he chuckled behind her, it was a lost cause. So _full _inside her, _so hot and full_, and her flesh was burning with pleasure and a bit of pain too, her hips bucking wildly without her permission. Shameful for a magus, but so _good_, and she could so easily lose herself in this.

_No_. She was the Master here. At least a semblance of control had to be maintained. The thought was just enough water tossed on the fire of her lust to let her raise her head and glare at him over her shoulder.

"Don't.. nngh.. don't think I'll be satisfied with just this…" she huffed out between shuddering breaths.

"You need more?" he grunted. "Such a greedy woman."

She would have taken pride from the shaking in his voice, if not for the hopelessly broken cadence of her own. Then he moved behind her, slipping out of her for a moment as he adjusted his hips. An embarrassing little whine escaped her lips before she could choke it back. But she didn't regret it, because then he was pounding into her at a delicious new angle, his hips drawing flush with hers in a fierce rhythm. His next thrust hit a tangle of nerves deep inside her, and the pain was drowned in a burst of hot pleasure.

"Ahh! Lancer, you - ahh!" She couldn't help herself, moaning shamelessly with every thrust. "Lancer - !" she gasped, pleading for an absolution she didn't understand but desperately needed, something to fill the emptiness in her chest as he was filling the hollow space inside her.

Infuriating man that he was, he responded by slowing his pace instead of speeding her towards her release. He was barely moving against her now, only slow circles of his hips to torment her. "What was that, Rin?" he whispered against her hair.

"What?" she asked dazedly. She bucked her hips backwards in an attempt to make him _move, _give her the sweet friction she so desperately craved.

"My name," he said patiently, but not without a wicked edge to it. "Say it."

"Cu then, damn you!" she snarled, glaring at the tangled sheets below her. _He's going to pay for this_, she thought angrily as she squirmed, the _need _ inside her growing unbearable. _I'm going to have him sorting reagents for _days -

"That's better," his voice cut across. She could forgive its aggravating smugness when he thrust back into her, good and hard. He was slamming her against the mattress now, the bedsprings creaking obscenely with each stroke, her breath coming out in frantic gasps. She could melt from the heat building inside her, making her toes curl and her head spin.

Hot hands moved from her hips to grab her breasts, palming them roughly as his hips hit against hers.

"Yeah," said Cu huskily. "I like you like this. But next time, I want you riding me." His laugh was ragged with his exertion. "So I can see your cute face while I'm fucking you senseless."

Rin could only glower into the sheets, the ability to form words far behind her. He pulled at her hips again, raising them for a deeper angle. She thought she might lose herself entirely underneath him, drown in the pressure of his thrusts, hot and insistent inside her.

His hands were back at her breasts, rubbing and pinching sensitive nipples. Fierce grunts echoed in her ears as he impaled her, again and again in a maddening rhythm. She shook with the force of the pleasure cresting inside her, his hands and bulk her only anchor in the storm overtaking her. Release comes over her again, bursting hard and fast like so many shooting stars, her walls pulsing around the throbbing length inside her. Cu's breathing choked as he lost himself to his own pleasure, his rhythm growing more erratic as his fingers buried themselves in her hips. He gave a low, loud grunt as he hit his own climax, riding it out in a last few shallow thrusts.

Cu gave a long sigh of contentment, his fingers lovingly tracing her spine before he slowly pulled out of her. Strong arms wrapped around Rin's shoulders to pull her down with him as he settled them onto the bed, their breaths still ragged and heavy in the silence.

Rin winced as she felt his seed leak from inside her, their shared fluids smeared across her thighs. There was satisfaction, yes, spreading through her tired limbs and across her sweat-slicked skin. But with it came a sudden shyness, a sense of having left herself defenseless before his knowing gaze.

She rolled onto her side, away from him so that he saw only her back as she reached blindly down for a sheet to cover herself with. She had barely brushed against the silken material before his arm closed around her, snaking between her breasts to pull her close. She tensed, struggling between the desire to escape, to give herself space for _control_, and the warm tenderness surging in her heart. Then he kissed her cheek, lazily but full of affection, and she gave a short bark of laughter as she surrendered to what she wanted.

His chest was a furnace against her back, heat to soothe her trembling limbs and her aching core. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, whispering endearments and obscenities alike into her skin. She should resent the familiarity, and indeed she would probably yell at him for it later. But right now she let herself relax against him, enjoying the sense of closeness. Of not being alone.

Cu moved his lips sensuously up her throat, pressing soft kisses there before pulling back to smirk at her. "So how was my case?" he asked, red eyes gleaming. "Are you persuaded?"

She stretched languorously against him. Now that she had allowed herself to fully enjoy this, she could enjoy the press of her body against his, his tanned skin covering the wild grace of a hunting wolf.

"Hmmm," she said with a sly smile. "Not bad, but I'm not entirely satisfied. I may need to hear some supporting arguments."

She moved to prop herself up on her elbows, wincing when the ache flared up between her legs. "But maybe a bit later," she amended as she settled back against him.

Cu's laugh was honeyed ale in her ears as he reached up to catch her face between warm hands, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he grinned at her. Rin heaved a sigh that was as much despair as contentment, because she could feel it. She could feel her heart starting to reform around this impossible man, his cocky smirk and wild beauty and the way he _looked _at her _taught _her _laughed_ with her -

It frightened her, sent her hands to clench sweat-soaked sheets against her naked breast. Because she could not hold him down, not really, in spite of the contract between them. Or hold herself down, for that matter. In less than a month, she would travel to Fuyuki and put the last four years of her life, endless hours of work and compromises, to the test. The ritual would succeed, or it would fail. And then what? What would become of Tohsaka Rin?

Cu released her then, shuffling away from her towards the other side of the bed. She should have been relieved, but already she missed the warmth of his bulk against her. Even worse, she was thinking about kissing him again.

The roll and snap of a drawer being opened and closed caught her attention. She sat up to see Cu holding a cigarette to his lips, flicking the lighter to catch the end with flame.

"Why are those in my nightstand?" grumbled Rin. Her eyes narrowed as realization dawned. "Were you _expecting _this to happen?"

"Been thinking about it for a while," he shrugged as he leaned back against the headrest, taking a slow drag from his smoke. "Wanted the right moment, though." Then he turned towards her and smirked. "Absolutely worth it, by the way."

She was about to hit him when he offered her a cigarette, the white stick dangling between his nimble fingers. She scowled, then snatched it and placed it between lips swollen with their earlier kisses. He only smiled as he offered her a flame at a discreet distance, and she leaned forward to catch it.

They both sat back in bed for a while, watching gray smoke curl and rise in the air before them. Rin ignored the unfamiliar prickling of tobacco in the back of her throat, grateful for a moment to catch her thoughts. Not that they came easily to hand. They ran as quickly as she approached them, darting ahead to tangle themselves in her hopes and fears.

"Hey, Master?" Cu's voice broke into her thoughts again.

"What?" she snapped, still angry and embarrassed that he had read her so easily, taken her to bed on his own infuriating schedule. The acrid smoke filling her nose didn't help her mood either.

"After you get the kid his lady love back," said Cu contemplatively, "You won't need me to anchor the ritual." He blew a long line of smoke before stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray on the night table. "So what then?"

Rin's heart did an odd tumbling flop in her chest. _So he's thinking about after, too_. A familiar of his calibre was expensive to maintain, consuming mana almost as quickly as her circuits could generate it, and he knew it. He didn't fear death, not her proud Cu Chulainn, but clearly he wanted to stay in this world a little longer.

So she sighed and leaned back. "I don't know," she said, waving her free hand airily. "We'll take a sabbatical. Go around Europe and hunt Dead Apostles." She turned and grinned at him. "Gae Bolg is mana efficient, so with some resources we can use both that and my gems. We'll make it work."

Crimson eyes widened as he stared at her, then he gave a low whistle. "Damn, Rin. I thought I was making the pitch here." His return grin was both ferocious and tender, and it set her traitorous heart racing in her chest. "You say something like that, I'm never going to let you go."

"Then don't," she said, throwing aside her barely touched cigarette to slide up next to him. Let him enfold her in his arms, splay his warm hand on her naked stomach. Hold her, as she had long wished to be held. Not with hollow words and grand promises, but the simple and real presence of his body twined around hers.

It wasn't that simple, of course. It never was. But for a few warm moments, basking in the last of the afterglow, they could pretend.


End file.
